Sex toys for anyone who fancies trying something new

When it comes to sex toys (or sex education in general), reliable information is hard to come by. Wondering why? The reasons are many, but they all share one thing: the shame around talking openly about the subject.

Even so, the sex toy industry has been developing rapidly in recent years, and its popularity keeps growing thanks to innovation and variety: the inclusion of the LGBTQI+ community and women's increasing interest in experimenting are driving this development. And in case you didn't know: the sex toy market grew by more than 26 % in 2019–2020, at the start of the pandemic.

In today's article we're talking about sex toys and how to find the best ones for you (and your partner).

How do I choose the right sex toy (for me or my partner)? 

Sex tech has come on enormously over the past decade. We've finally seen the back of clunky plastic vibrators – today's modern, high-quality sex toys are developed by professionals in medicine and sex education. 

In short: sex toy shops – online or on the high street – have evolved to the point where there's now something for everyone, regardless of gender identity, sexual orientation or physical circumstances. And when it comes to choosing the right sex toy for women, men, non-binary or trans people – whether you want to try it solo or as a couple – the first step is to think about what kind of stimulation you're after and who the toy is intended for. 

So your homework before you shop is this: what kind of stimulation do you want? Because there are gadgets that stimulate different areas of the body – for example, sex toys for the clitoris or purely vaginal toys. Broadly speaking, there's a distinction between external and internal use, but the choice is a deeply personal one. So talk to your partner rather than simply picking the first thing that catches your eye on a website or in an adult shop. If you're looking for a couples' sex toy, choose it together – and the good news is there are countless sex toys for beginners.

Once you know what you want, don't skip the reviews: they always help if you have a little patience, because the range of erotic toys out there is huge!

Where can we buy sex toys?

Today you can find the best sex toys with a simple Google search and have them delivered discreetly to a parcel locker if you'd rather they weren't sent to your home. But there's no shame in taking a stroll to the sex shop either! It all depends on what you prefer. If you want more information about the gadgets you're interested in, search online for a ranking of the best sex toys or sets, where you can order them straight away, or talk to the sales staff in an adult shop – that first step can feel awkward, but once the conversation gets going you'll realise how easy and comfortable it is to talk about erotic toys.

How can you order sex toys as discreetly as possible?

Several options for delivering adult products have emerged in recent years, and most shops send out discreet packaging with no company name or other obvious clues. On top of that, some people prefer delivery to a collection point, such as a parcel locker, rather than to their own address – a good option if you'd rather nothing arrived at your door.

Sex toy guide: who they're for

Once you've decided how you want to buy them, it's worth knowing this: the best erotic toys can be used both solo and with a partner. If you use a toy for clitoral stimulation during sex, for instance, the sensations become more intense. Some make you feel more comfortable, while others hold a few surprises and lift you out of a dull routine (if you're thinking of BDSM sex toys).

Regardless of who they're intended for, erotic toys have only one aim: to help you feel better with yourself and/or with your partner. Don't see them as competition or a replacement – there's no contest here.

The best sex toys for him. Which sex toys do men choose?

If you live in a male body: the newest products on the sex toy market are as original as they are powerful. Designed to heighten sensation and intended for the penis or the prostate area, you can choose between egg-shaped gadgets, vibrating rings, anal toys, prostate stimulators, hyper-realistic vagina-shaped Fleshlights (in other words, masturbators) and much more. 

The best sex toys for her. Which sex toys do women choose?

Erotic toys for women are no less impressive: from vibrators that mimic oral sex (such as the Lelo Ora), through vibrators in various sizes, materials and shapes – both realistic and abstract – to dildos, balls or massagers. Stimulators for women have developed enormously in recent years, and you'll find them both extremely discreet and deliberately eye-catching. Some are now even marketed without being assigned to a particular gender or age group.

The best sex toys for couples. How do we escape the monotony? 

With a simple Google search you'll find plenty of options to bring more fun into your relationship, whatever kind of partnership you're in. If you're a woman, for example, and your partner is also a woman or a trans/non-binary person in a female body, you can reach for various external stimulators, vibrators, double-ended dildos, strap-ons or anal toys.

And because there are so many possibilities, we've put together a short guide for you!

1. The first step, if you want to introduce sex toys into your relationship, is to talk to your partner about what you both like and fantasise about – that way you'll make sure you both have the best possible experience.
2. Check the material the products are made from: there are plenty of cheap sex toys out there, and that can have a negative impact on your health. Stick to a few basic rules on materials – make sure it is:

• phthalate-free
• fragrance-free
• taste-free
• easy to clean
• long-lasting
  
  3. Choose a cordless sex toy that's easy for both partners to use and satisfies you both. 

Of the most popular models on the market, we'd recommend: 

We-Vibe Sync – stimulates both partners during sex and can be adjusted to fit you

Tantus Beginner's Strap-On Kit – for gender play: a starter set with a harness, two different sizes and a small vibrator

Fin Vibrator – a versatile toy designed as an extension of your fingers, waterproof and very easy to handle

Sex toy guide by area to be stimulated 

Depending on which area you want to stimulate, there are different types of sex toy. Which are the most popular?

For the vulva, vagina and clitoris you can use dildos, external vibrators in bullet or finger form, or ones that work with air pressure – as well as internal models for stimulating the G-spot, double-ended vibrators or rabbit vibrators.

Anal toys are also hugely varied and specially designed with safety in mind (in case you didn't know: the anus has two sphincters – an external one you can control, and an internal one the body has no control over). They may or may not have a vibration function and can take the form of an anal plug, a dildo or a string of beads.

And for stimulating the penis you'll find rings, vibrators or devices that mimic oral sex.

Sex toy guide by type 

Of course, you can also choose your erotic toy according to its type.

Sex toys with beads

If you opt for anal beads, pay attention to the material and whether or not you want vibration. The graduated sizes of the beads allow you – especially as a beginner – to work up from a small size to a larger one. Some offer intense vibrations, if that's your thing. 

Vaginal or Kegel balls are easy to use and modelled on the anatomy of the vagina. They recharge quickly, and the attached retrieval cord makes removal easy.

Ring-shaped sex toys 

Now for ring toys: cock rings are designed to help erections last longer. There are simple rings, vibrating rings, double rings or adjustable rings that are fitted at the base of the penis.

Vibrators

Vibrators come in many forms and are among the best-selling sex toys. In adult shops you'll find realistic vibrators or models in all sorts of shapes – they're the most popular toys in the world. 

When choosing a vibrator, pay attention to the following:

• the size
• the functions
• the material used, as many models can cause irritation or allergies if they contain phthalates (a group of chemical substances added to plastics (PVC) to increase flexibility, transparency and durability – these are toxic substances). Look for "medical-grade silicone" on the label.

An instruction manual will tell you exactly which functions there are and how to adjust a vibrator. The various models help you explore your erogenous zones: some vibrators have back-and-forth movements, others can be used hands-free or cordlessly, and the intensity of the vibrations can be adjusted at any time. The important thing is to get to know the toy before you use it. 

The erotic toy market is constantly evolving, and today you'll find gadgets for every preference. So let's also give a quick mention to wands, vibrating eggs, massage toys, devices that stroke or rotate around the penis, and even a WaterSlide you can attach in the bath to direct the water jet towards your intimate areas – not to mention BDSM toys such as paddles, crops, chains, collars, nipple clamps, bondage kits or other sex toy sets.

Improvised sex toys (homemade)

This just goes to show once again how inventive and creative people can be when it comes to exploring pleasure. Because in the end, as they say: the best things in life are free. And that can apply to sex toys too! They don't have to be luxurious, and you don't have to spend a lot of money – especially if you're just starting out and want to use what you've got at home before investing. A couple of ideas, in case you hadn't thought of them: clothes pegs or a metal spatula from the kitchen.

Which are the best-known sex toy brands?

Since sex toys vary enormously in material, shape, size and price, choosing can be a challenge. Each toy addresses particular needs, and the experiences are never the same. If you're looking for the most respected brands innovating in this market, though, these are the ones to know: 

Maude

• Ergonomic devices made from pleasantly soft, body-safe silicone, designed for use alone or with a partner.

Lelo

• An inclusive vision, elegant designs, high-tech intimacy for every taste and toys developed specifically to add intensity to sex.

Dame

• Sexual wellbeing with a focus on design, functionality and sex education – with affordable products, discreet delivery and the option to return within 60 days.