Your Guide to Masturbation

An awkward subject, taboo for most people – and yet masturbation is a perfectly normal sexual activity. It's time we talked about it. Because reliable information is so hard to come by, countless myths have sprung up that leave you wondering whether you're even allowed to give yourself a moment of pleasure. We're here to clear it all up for you.

Masturbation: techniques, effects & recommendations

In theory it's an uncomfortable topic; in practice it's all about pleasure. Add to that contradictory information from dubious sources and myths passed down by word of mouth – and our heads are left in a complete muddle. In reality, masturbation is normal human behaviour that begins in puberty as the sex hormones mature, and it represents a natural process of self-discovery. How about we treat and understand it as exactly that?

Warning: there's a risk you'll know more about your body after reading this article!

What is masturbation?

Masturbation, self-pleasure or "solo play" refers to self-stimulation of the genitals in order to experience arousal and sexual pleasure – usually to the point of orgasm (sexual climax). Essentially, it's a natural and safe way to feel good and release pent-up sexual tension. The sensations range from intense pleasure to a state of deep relaxation and contentment. This phenomenon is common among men and women of all ages and plays an important role in healthy sexual development.

Even so, masturbation is culturally frowned upon and even forbidden in many religions, as it is regarded as an immoral act. The result? A great many cultural beliefs and myths have emerged that shape sexual behaviour. Slowly but surely, we're drawing back the curtain and speaking beyond the hush…

Masturbation in women

The general impression is that women either don't need or don't want to pleasure themselves – either because of the stigma attached to this kind of satisfaction, or quite simply because nobody talks about it. The truth is this: a woman who masturbates knows and understands her body sexually far better – from her erogenous zones to how she reaches orgasm. And that contributes to a lovely, healthy lifestyle.

Masturbation in men

Compared with masturbation in women, it's considered far more of a given among men. Studies show that self-pleasure is a habit for the vast majority of men – essentially something entirely normal. Alongside sexual release, masturbation allows a man to discover his body, learn what gives him pleasure, and develop a practice that brings him closer to his partner while improving the quality of sex within the relationship.

Masturbation techniques for women

Ultimately, we all want to reach orgasm, to feel that release, spiced with ecstasy and crowned by a pleasant sense of calm and tiredness. And we know you want to find out more about it. What an orgasm is, what phases and types there are, or why you're not climaxing with your partner – we've answered every single question in the article Everything about orgasm by ENROUSH, which you can read here. 

Of course, with solo play there's a little journey to make before orgasm. So, how do we get there?
There's no right or wrong method of self-stimulation, but knowing several techniques will certainly bring you closer to the sexual release you're after. While some women love using various objects or sex toys to pleasure themselves, others reach orgasm with their fingers alone. We're all different – in the loveliest sense.

It's time to discover together what gives us pleasure.

Masturbation by hand

Manual stimulation is one of the most commonly used techniques – it's simple, quick and effective. With this method, the clitoris is gently massaged and the fingers (usually two) are inserted into the vagina. You can make circular movements as well as inserting your fingers repeatedly – essentially anything that gives you intense pleasure.

Masturbation with a pillow

Another method that takes hardly any effort – and for which you don't even need to get out of bed – is masturbating with a pillow. If you want to release tension, you can simply try rubbing against the pillow with back-and-forth movements. At first you'll feel a pleasant sensation that builds and builds until the pleasure takes you over completely.

Masturbation with meditation

If, alongside sexual pleasure, you'd also like to reduce stress and lift your mood, you can combine masturbation with meditation. If you've never tried this before, now is a good moment to give yourself a few minutes in a romantic atmosphere: listen to sensual music, do some breathing exercises and discover your body. Without aiming for an immediate orgasm, watch your hands as they caress, touch your erogenous zones and savour every second. This experience can easily become a healthy habit – part of a balanced life.

Masturbation with sex toys

It will surprise no one that there are toys for "grown-ups" too – and using them brings a very particular kind of pleasure. Stimulation with sex toys doesn't have to replace manual masturbation; rather, it offers a whole new kind of stimulation through vibrations, movements and speeds you simply couldn't achieve otherwise. To your surprise, you may discover that you respond positively to certain settings on a sex toy that you'd never have expected. Vibrators, butt plugs – anything you find appealing can become an exceptionally pleasurable experience.

Masturbation with objects

A creative mind can find erotic pleasure in any object – whether it was designed for sexual pleasure or not. From the electric toothbrush to fruit or vegetables: our imagination can fly far. What we do need to watch out for are infections and potential injuries that can occur when we use objects in unsuitable conditions. For a pleasant experience, we recommend using a condom and, if needed, lubricant, so you can enjoy masturbation without any unwanted consequences.

Types of masturbation

The types of masturbation are every bit as varied as the techniques for heightening pleasure. Here we'll talk about the erogenous zones and how you and your partner can enjoy a new experience.

Vaginal masturbation

If you haven't tried vaginal masturbation before, reaching the peak of pleasure may seem difficult – but we'll let you in on a secret: the key is practice. You can use your fingers, but also sex toys. Once you've inserted them into the vagina, let yourself ride the wave and move however you need to – explore yourself.

Clitoral masturbation

They say the most erogenous zone is the clitoris – so clitoral masturbation is definitely worth a try. Touch yourself in this area (just above the vulva) with gentle movements at first, and once you notice you're sufficiently aroused you can speed up until you reach orgasm. Here too, you can use sex toys.

Anal masturbation

Anal stimulation still seems to be uncharted territory for many women, but it's worth knowing: the orgasm achieved this way can be extremely intense. Before you begin, make sure you have plenty of lubricant to hand – and for deeper penetration you can use a sex toy.

Masturbation of the penis

Stimulating a man can be done in many ways – from massaging the penis to teasing him with tactile or thermal sensations. You can give him pleasure with steady movements, pick up the pace, or use slow movements to discover further erogenous zones besides the penis. Experience him in a new way.

Mutual masturbation

Sure, playing alone can be fun – but the pleasure is even greater as a pair. Mutual masturbation means a moment of connection in which you show and say what you want, while understanding your partner and sensing their needs. Masturbating with your partner is a powerful way to deepen intimacy as you reach orgasm together and allow yourselves to be truly vulnerable.


 

Benefits – what is masturbation good for?

Thanks to studies carried out in recent years, the myths that masturbation does more harm than good are gradually disappearing. Today we know the benefits of masturbation – and there are plenty of them:

• It improves your mood.
• It helps you sleep better.
• It helps relieve period pain.
• It lowers the risk of developing diabetes.
• You release sexual tension and can concentrate better.
• You can improve your sex life and stay sexually active even without a partner.
• It boosts your libido.
• You help prevent cervical infections, as lubrication flushes out bacteria.
• Anxiety and stress can be eased.
• It significantly lowers the risk of prostate cancer.

Masturbation – negative effects

On the other hand, there are studies that show us the less rosy side of masturbation too. 

• From a moral and ethical standpoint, some people experience feelings of guilt when they masturbate – due to social stigma and religious beliefs. Remember, though: pleasure is nothing to be ashamed of.
• From a sexual standpoint, an aggressive, excessively practised masturbation method can reduce sexual sensitivity – meaning the person concerned needs considerably stronger stimulation in an intimate relationship.
• From a psychological standpoint, masturbation can be an unpleasant experience for you if you have suffered sexual trauma.

Fundamentally, there's no evidence that masturbation could harm your health. So when does it become a problem?

Addiction – excessive masturbation

Like other addictions, masturbation can be described as excessive when it leads to changes in your behaviour. If you're missing work or school, cancelling plans with friends or family to spend time with pornographic material instead, if you masturbate in public, or if you simply miss everyday activities or social events in order to masturbate – then yes, it's becoming a problem.

Masturbation addiction really can damage your relationships and have a negative impact on your life. In a relationship, there's a risk that your partner becomes unattractive to you and that you come to prefer masturbation or erotic fantasies about other people over intimate moments with them.

How do you stop masturbating?

The most common cause of masturbation addiction is habit. In such situations, the most important thing is to accept that you have a problem and to turn towards solutions. It isn't easy, but it's down to you alone to work at it in order to overcome it. You could…

• go for a run in the park
• keep a journal
• spend time with family or friends
• go for a walk in the fresh air
• watch films (without erotic scenes)
• focus on a hobby

That way you break free of one habit and connect with another that may be healthier for you and your mind. 

If you're worried about developing a masturbation addiction, speak to a professional about further ways of cutting back on this habit. You could even create a daily plan that connects you with what really matters to you.

Masturbation during pregnancy – how safe is it?

When we talk about pregnancy, we're talking about hormonal changes – and for many women those mean an increased libido. Masturbation is one way of releasing the sexual tension that builds up during pregnancy, particularly when sexual activity with a partner causes discomfort.

It can often happen that orgasm is accompanied by mild, irregular cramps or Braxton Hicks contractions. If these don't subside and become painful and frequent, a doctor should be contacted immediately.

In some cases masturbation becomes unsafe, as an orgasm can increase the likelihood of labour. We've written in more detail about sexual activity during pregnancy in the article Everything about sex during pregnancy. 

Masturbation during menstruation – is it advisable?

Women are supposedly meant to avoid masturbating at this time of the month. Wrong! Some women have a heightened libido during menstruation, and the pleasure triggered by masturbation can even be more intense. Masturbation often actually helps reduce unpleasant symptoms – such as painful period cramps or stress – thanks to the endorphins released during orgasm.

For painful cramps at that magical time of the month, we also have a 100% natural solution: period heat patches that tackle pain with warmth. A single patch, stuck onto your underwear, protects you for up to 8 hours from the pain that brings your day to a standstill. Trust in your own strength, choose products that are there for you especially in those sensitive moments, and enjoy every day without compromise: 100% organic products that are 100% kind to nature and good for your body.

Masturbation in children & babies

From around the age of 5–6, children tend to explore the world – but above all to examine themselves closely. That includes discovering their genitals and, naturally, playing with them. Masturbation in children can take various forms: from rubbing against objects to touching the intimate area with the hand. It's important to know that a child only associates this activity with sexuality or adult sexual relationships much later, in puberty.

In most cases, masturbation is a normal phase in a child's development. There are, however, cases in which this activity goes beyond what is normal and a professional should be consulted. Namely, when…

• the activity becomes compulsive and interferes with other normal activities
• the child cannot easily be distracted from masturbating
• the child imitates the sexual act with another child
• any form of penetration with another child occurs
• masturbation becomes painful and the child shows signs of pain
• the frequency of masturbation increases unexpectedly
• the child becomes particularly unhappy or sad
• masturbation is followed by scratch marks or inflammation in the genital area (the child may have a threadworm infection or a bladder infection)

In such cases, don't hesitate to consult a professional for expert help.

What NOT to do when masturbating

If you say masturbation, you also say: look after the health of your intimate area. We know how unpleasant it is when it hurts, stings or you feel any kind of discomfort. We even have an article on urinary tract infections – ideal reading on the "better safe than sorry" principle. Right?

So how do we look after ourselves when masturbating?

• When pleasuring yourself, either your fingers or an object (a sex toy or something else) is often inserted into the vagina – which is why it's important that these are hygienically clean to avoid infection. For hands, we recommend washing them thoroughly; for objects, using a condom would be ideal.
• You may not have expected this, but even when masturbating, extra lubrication is sometimes needed – if you're not sufficiently aroused or simply feel the need for it. Use a lubricant for this.
• Another very real issue to be aware of when masturbating is the small injuries and irritations you can cause yourself through overly aggressive, repetitive movements. You need to know and respect your limits.

Frequently asked questions about masturbation

Lots of myths, lots of problems – let's clear them out of the way. Here are some of the questions you've certainly asked yourself, along with the answers you really needed.

How long can a person go without masturbating?

The body's needs vary from person to person, and masturbation is often a personal choice rather than a biological need. 

Is masturbating in your sleep normal?

Masturbating in your sleep is more than a "wet dream" and is often regarded as a disorder in its own right. In these cases it's advisable to see a doctor, even though there's no miracle cure. The treatment usually suggested is therapy sessions.

How long does masturbation take for women?

Masturbation can take longer for women than for men, as the female sex needs more time to reach orgasm. There's no rule, though – and the better you know your body, the easier you'll find it to reach that liberating point. 

How can you get aroused before masturbating?

The brain is the body's most erogenous organ – so let your imagination run wild. You might want to watch pornographic material you enjoy, or you might choose to light some scented candles and caress yourself while looking in the mirror. Either way, the atmosphere you create matters enormously if you want a pleasurable experience.

Why is masturbation supposed to be bad?

You should know that doctors and psychologists agree: masturbation is an entirely normal and healthy behaviour. Nevertheless, there are many cultures and religions that view it as an "impure" act, because they believe pleasure should take a different form or that sexual activity should take place exclusively with a partner within marriage.