All About Fetishes

Not sure whether you have one, or perhaps you think yours are unusual? It's time to talk about fetishes and sexual fetishism without any taboos.

Definition – what do fetish & fetishism mean?

Originally, in the 15th century, the word “feitiço” in Portugal meant “false power, object, talisman”. When the Portuguese explored West Africa and encountered the indigenous religions there, they called every talisman the locals revered – from amulets to totems – a “fetish”.

Today's definition states that sexual fetishism is a form of paraphilia (that is, a sexual perversion) in which affection is directed towards an inanimate object or a part of a person's body. In practical terms, a fetish is sexual arousal in response to an object or body part that isn't normally sexually charged – such as shoes, feet or others that we'll be discussing in detail now.

What causes fetishes?

Whether we're talking about a mild form of fetishism or a genuine disorder (a mental health condition), the causes are still unclear. Some theorists believe that fetishes go back to early childhood experiences in which an object became linked with the shape of another object carrying strong sexual potential. Others suspect that there were problems connected with masturbation during childhood or late adolescence.

Specialists point out that a child who becomes a victim, or who simply witnesses inappropriate sexual behaviour, gradually learns to imitate it and later practises it themselves. In men, it's thought that fetishes may develop as a result of doubts about their own masculinity and potency – sometimes even out of a fear of rejection and humiliation. Through fetishistic practices, the person protects themselves and can compensate for a lack of belonging and understanding.

Who can have fetishes?

Although early theories claimed that only men could have fetishes, this has proved to be false. The similarities and differences between female and male fetishism are still being debated, with particular attention paid to the degree of perversity.

In men, there's a possibility that they may be unable to achieve an erection without the presence of the relevant objects, or without satisfying the desire to see, feel or smell something specific.

The most common fetishes

People can develop fantasies about almost anything. Over time it has become clear that these vary from person to person, although there are a few broad categories of fetish, which we'll now explore together.

“Foot fetish”

Defined as a marked sexual interest in feet, for someone with a “foot fetish” the shape and size of feet and toes can be especially appealing. It's one of the most common fetishes among men – and even a large body of Chinese literature writes about women's feet, about worshipping them or even masturbating with them.

Shoe fetish

Directly linked to the foot fetish, shoes are a source of fantasy and desire for many men. High heels are usually the most prized, because they make a woman look taller and her legs appear longer. Chinese women endured great discomfort in order to wear the smallest shoes possible, so that their feet would look particularly dainty.

 

Piercing fetish

This fetish is found above all among young people between 18 and 35. Anything – whether a navel, tongue, eyebrow or nipple piercing – is not merely interesting but downright arousing.

Fetish for a body part

Men and women agree that many parts of a partner's body can hold sexual fascination. From the stomach to the ear, the fingers and hands – it varies according to personal preference.

Colour fetish

Perhaps you prefer to see your partner in a particular colour, or your sex toys all inevitably come in the same shade – when it becomes an obsession, we call it a fetish. The colours most often described as fetishes are: red, purple, pink and black.

Fetish for particular materials

There are many people with fetishes for different materials – from latex, leather and rubber to fur. They have a compulsive urge to dress themselves or their partner in something made of that material, or simply to have an object made of it nearby.

 Lingerie fetish

Particularly common among men, this fetish means an obsession with the underwear a woman is wearing. It can be something exciting and seductive – or something plain whose style is entirely unremarkable.

Tattoo fetish

As with the piercing fetish, the tattoo fetish is more common among younger generations and refers to an absolute attraction to tattoos – sometimes it's even a non-negotiable criterion when choosing a partner.

Food fetish

A food fetish means that sexual desire is awakened by food – often by the kinds used during sex, such as strawberries, cream, chocolate and others.

Other well-known fetishes

There are many other forms that human fetishes can take, including techniques practised together with a partner during sex.

Dominance & submission – BDSM

BDSM is the acronym for “bondage, dominance and submission, sadomasochism” and describes certain sexual practices with clearly defined rules, which lead partners to intense pleasure through the infliction of physical pain. There's a wide range of products designed to satisfy partners who prefer this kind of sex.

Sexual role play

Some people prefer to wear costumes or uniforms from a particular field – the medical world, for instance – to spice up their time in bed. Role play is no longer anything out of the ordinary, and many people enjoy this kind of sex, in which each person takes on a role different from their real life.

Primal fetish

Experiencing pleasure during sex through primal, animalistic behaviour is one of today's widespread fetishes. The primal part of the brain is responsible for survival, which is why it's believed that our basic instincts – seeking food, protecting ourselves and reproducing – can generate pleasure when allowed to rise to the surface.

Furry fetish

What does “furry fetish” mean? Anyone with this fetish is a fan of anthropomorphic animals. These are animals with human characteristics, such as Mickey Mouse, Sonic the Hedgehog or many sports team mascots.

Plus-size fetish

This type of fetish is a sexual attraction to overweight or obese people, chiefly because of their weight and body size. For people with a “plus-size fetish”, this becomes an important criterion when choosing a partner.

Public places

For some people, sex in public places is as arousing as it is risky. It may be about the adrenaline of the moment, which becomes addictive, or about the sex itself.

Paraphilia vs fetishism – what's the difference?

Paraphilia is an abnormal sexual behaviour characterised by recurrent, intense sexual fantasies and needs. These powerful sexual impulses may involve the use of certain unusual objects, situations or activities that most people wouldn't normally find arousing.

Fetishism is a subcategory of paraphilia and, as long as it remains under control and no abusive behaviour develops, it poses no problem.

How is fetishistic disorder diagnosed?

People with fetishistic disorder typically focus exclusively on the object or body part that triggers desire – that is, on the source of the fetish. Non-fetishists may occasionally feel drawn to a particular body part or object and incorporate it into their sexual interaction with another person, but they don't become fixated on it.

Fetishistic disorder is diagnosed according to the following criteria:

• Over a period of at least 6 months, the person has recurrent, arousing fantasies, impulses or behaviours involving inanimate objects or a particular fixation on specific body parts.
• The fantasies, sexual needs or behaviours cause significant distress or impair the person socially, professionally or personally.

Are fetishes safe?

As long as they remain within healthy limits, fetishes are a problem for no one. However, fetishes can easily take on a compulsive form and develop into a genuine disorder.

Is fetishism a disorder?

Fetishism and fantasies are widespread and should only be treated as a disorder when they lead to serious problems or impair a person's ability to function normally in daily life.

Fetishistic disorder usually follows a continuous course, with the intensity and frequency of the impulses or behaviours fluctuating over the course of a lifetime. Treatment is therefore generally long-term.

How is fetishistic disorder treated?

Treatment methods include various forms of therapy (classical psychoanalysis, hypnosis, cognitive behavioural therapy) as well as drug treatment (SSRIs, androgen deprivation therapy). Some prescribed medicines help reduce the obsessive thinking that accompanies paraphilias. This makes it possible to focus on counselling with fewer distractions.

Complications – untreated fetishistic disorder

If such a disorder goes untreated, fetishism can cause serious social and emotional problems. That's why treatment is essential. Possible complications include:

• Persistent sexual fantasies involving objects
• Social problems arising from these fantasies or needs
• Difficulties in interpersonal relationships
• Depersonalisation of sexual acts or fantasies
• Sexual impulses involving body parts or objects that are difficult to control

If you feel you have a problem, or someone around you is suffering from such a disorder, don't hesitate to seek help from a specialist.

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