Sexual Abstinence – Everything You Need to Know About the Effects of Abstaining from Sex

Depending on lifestyle, everyday stress levels and personal preferences, sexual desire varies from person to person. And even within the same person, there can be phases when desire is particularly strong and phases when libido all but disappears. That's perfectly normal — there is no "ideal" standard frequency for sex.

There's nothing wrong with having a strong sexual appetite and seeking intimacy — whether out of desire, a wish for closeness with your partner, or simply to relieve stress. Equally, there's nothing wrong with not fancying sex at all: contrary to what you often read on social media, nothing dramatic happens if you never have sex. Everyone's needs are different — including sexually.

What we do have to acknowledge, however, is this: a great many studies have already shown how beneficial an active, healthy sex life is and how positively it affects us both physically and mentally. And when we go through longer periods of abstinence, the consequences can be felt on every level.

There's no taboo here: sexual function is a normal bodily function that forms part of every woman's life — and something you ought to be informed about. Below you'll find out what negative effects abstinence can have and why, so that you're aware of both the positive and the less positive consequences.

What effects does a lack of sex have on the body

Just as it's entirely normal to have an active sex life, it's equally natural for libido to dip at times or for you to have to cut back on how often you have sex.

Sex can be absent from our lives for all sorts of reasons: because we're not in a relationship, because we're going through a demanding and stressful period (at work, in the postnatal period and so on), because abstinence is recommended while we're being treated for a sexually transmitted infection, or simply as a personal choice — all of these are perfectly normal situations.

In the long term, however, a lack of intimacy can bring about certain changes in our bodies that show up as negative effects. This isn't a bad thing and doesn't mean we can't lead fulfilling lives without sex, but they are consequences that can affect us on every level: physical, mental and emotional.

So let's talk about the most significant of these effects and why they occur.

 The heart doesn't work as well when sex is missing

Alright, it's perhaps a little dramatic to claim that your heart stops working properly because you're not having sex. It's fairly unlikely that you'd notice any serious difference simply because you've gone without an active sex life for a long stretch (even years).

What we actually want to emphasise is this: yes, it's confirmed that an active sex life also benefits the cardiovascular system. Lower blood pressure, less stress and a reduced risk of cardiovascular events — these are all benefits that support heart health when you have sex regularly.

We say the heart doesn't work as well simply because these benefits fall away in the absence of sexual activity. But an active lifestyle with regular exercise and a balanced diet certainly counts at least as much for the health and optimal functioning of your heart.

Sexual abstinence weakens the immune system

You might not have known this, but regular sex can strengthen your immune system. There are studies confirming that people who have sex twice a week have higher levels of immunoglobulin A (a type of antibody), which helps the body fight off colds and illness.

Sexual abstinence can therefore lead to a drop in these antibodies in the body and, consequently, to a weakened immune system that's more susceptible to colds and flu.

Sexual abstinence may cause prostate problems

Opinions differ and the research isn't conclusive, but a certain link has been identified between the frequency of sexual activity and prostate cancer risk in men.

In a 2016 study involving 30,000 men, a lower risk of prostate problems and prostate cancer was found among those who reported ejaculating more than 21 times a month.

Vaginal health can suffer from a lack of sex

Here we're mainly talking about menopausal women, who are at greater risk of vaginal dryness and irritation.

You can use lubricants, moisturisers and, on medical advice, oestrogen preparations, but one of the best ways to maintain the elasticity of vaginal tissue and prevent dryness is sex.

Without regular sexual activity, the vagina can change during the menopause: it becomes less supple and the tissue thins. This increases the risk of injury, bleeding and discomfort when you eventually have sex again — and a vicious circle begins.

Because of the discomfort, you avoid intimacy even more, and the abstinence further intensifies the discomfort and sensitivity in the vaginal area.

A lack of sex lowers the risk of urinary tract infections

Here's something positive too: less sexual contact means a lower risk of picking up urinary tract infections or sexually transmitted infections.

Put another way: one of the most common causes of urinary tract infections is that bacteria passed on by your partner during sex, along with semen or even the condom or contraceptive you use, can irritate the inside of the vagina and disrupt the vaginal flora. This creates an imbalance and greater susceptibility to infection.

When these factors are removed through sexual abstinence, the risk of this type of urinary tract infection falls. 

Even so, the rules of hygiene still apply, and it remains just as important to pay attention to everything that comes into contact with your body — from clothing and underwear to period and intimate care products. The causes of urinary tract infections are extremely varied, and a lack of sex alone is no guarantee of vaginal health. We've written in far more detail about urinary tract infections, their causes and symptoms on the Enroush blog — do have a read if you'd like more detail.

A lack of sex can heighten anxiety

Now let's turn to the effects on the psycho-emotional level: anxiety and stress are the first and most immediate consequence of a lack of sex. But before we discuss the negative effects on mental health, take a look at our article HERE, where we explain in plain terms what anxiety is and how it manifests.

During intimacy and orgasm, the body releases oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine. These hormones help lower your stress levels and reduce anxiety.

When abstinence sets in and the production of these hormones declines, anxiety and stress levels can rise — especially if you've been using sex as a coping mechanism (to manage difficult or stressful situations).

Sexual abstinence can make period cramps worse

Did you know that in surveys and studies a great many women have confirmed that sex during menstruation relieves period pain just as effectively (or almost as effectively) as ibuprofen?

Both the relaxation brought on by the endorphins released during sex and the improved blood circulation mean that abdominal pain eases when you have sex during your period. And if you don't, period cramps can get worse.

That said, not every woman has a sexual partner or feels like having sex at that time of the month. Good to know: there are other natural ways to relieve period pain without tablets. If you haven't tried them yet: Enroush period patches are made from 100% natural, biodegradable ingredients that warm up on contact with air and oxygenate the uterine muscles — for up to 8 hours of calm without period pain, thanks to heat therapy.

Relationships suffer from a lack of sex

Naturally, another area directly and immediately affected by a lack of sex is your relationship with your partner.

Intimacy is an important element of life as a couple: it's how partners communicate, grow closer and strengthen their bond. When it disappears, you may find you no longer feel as emotionally connected to your partner, that communication problems arise and that satisfaction and happiness within the relationship decline.

Try to maintain a close bond and open dialogue during the period of abstinence, so that the physical distance doesn't have such a strong impact on the connection between you.

What's more, a lack of sex doesn't mean the complete absence of physical closeness. Hugs, kisses, touch, expressions of affection and openness towards your partner can keep the connection alive in your relationship even without sex.

A lack of sex affects libido

Sometimes low libido is the cause and a lack of sex is the result. We've talked openly about these situations in another blog article, where we explain what you need to know about what isn't turning you on.

But there are also cases where it works the other way round: a lack of sex is the cause, leading to an even more dramatic drop in sexual desire.

Put another way: you know the saying "appetite comes with eating"? It's the same with intimacy. The more regularly you have sex, the more likely you are to want more of it. The longer sex is absent from your life and no longer associated with pleasure, the more your desire for it fades.

The benefits of sex for the body

So far we've discussed the main negative effects, while already touching on some of the most significant benefits of sex for the body.

As we said at the outset: sexual function is part of a healthy life too, and regular sexual activity brings you numerous physical and psycho-emotional benefits, including:

• Better cardiovascular function
• Improved memory
• Relief from menstrual and menopausal discomfort
• A stronger immune system
• An improved relationship with your partner
• Reduced anxiety and stress
• Better sleep quality
• Immediate, rapid pain relief
• Increased libido

Many of these benefits fall away or diminish considerably with sexual abstinence — but it's hardly the end of the world. Do also read our article on how to create intimacy without sex, for those phases of life when sexual contact isn't advisable or possible. You may be surprised by how many other ways there are to show your partner affection, maintain your connection as a couple and enjoy the psychological benefits of sex — without sex.

 Reasons why someone might stop having sex

There are a great many reasons why a person enters a phase of sexual abstinence — from personal choice to situations of necessity (on medical advice, for example).

You don't need a reason to justify your personal choices, and whether or not you want an active sex life is entirely up to you. But here are some of the most common reasons why some people want or need to pause their sexual activity:

• Asexuality
• Declining libido
• The wish to reset their sex life
• Avoiding anxiety, when sex triggers it
• Needing time to process and work through negative emotions associated with sex
• Social or religious norms
• Completely eliminating any risk of contracting or passing on a sexually transmitted infection

Frequently asked questions about a lack of sex

We hope this article has answered as many of your questions as possible about the negative effects of a lack of sex, as well as the benefits of an active sex life.

Finally, we know there are always a few key questions left over that you need a concise answer to — so in this section we'll give you exactly the answers you're looking for.

What unwanted effects does sexual abstinence have?

They're not really side effects in the sense that these consequences are serious or significantly affect your life or health. Nothing bad happens just because you go without sex. In short, the main issue with sexual abstinence is that the benefits an active sex life brings fall away or diminish.

In that context, we can say: the cardiovascular system doesn't work quite as well, the immune system becomes weaker, stress and anxiety levels rise, sleep quality and libido decline, and the relationship with your partner is affected. Bear in mind that these are only possibilities — a lack of sex doesn't affect everyone in the same way.

How does a lack of sex affect a woman?

In women, a lack of sex can worsen the symptoms of premenstrual syndrome and period cramps. In menopausal women, sexual abstinence can intensify vaginal dryness and the discomfort caused by thinning vaginal tissue. On the positive side, however, both the risk of sexually transmitted infections and the risk of urinary tract infections fall.

What negative effects does a lack of sex have on mental health?

Because the release of oxytocin and endorphins during sex no longer occurs, abstinence can heighten depression and anxiety. It can also lead to less effective stress management and poorer quality rest — particularly if intimacy has been used as an outlet.

 What negative effects does sexual abstinence have on relationships?

Since sex is a form of connection and communication between partners, a lack of sexual contact can create gaps in communication, a sense of distance and coolness, or the loss of closeness within the couple. It's important to keep creating intimacy without sex, to talk about how you feel and to show affection through non-sexual physical gestures (gentle touch, hugs and so on) in order to avoid such negative effects.

What are the benefits of a lack of sex?

Sexual abstinence has certain benefits too — the most important being that the risk of passing on or contracting sexually transmitted diseases drops to 0%. Other advantages include a lower risk of urinary tract infections, reduced anxiety caused by sexual contact, and the space to reset your sex life and work through negative emotions surrounding sex.